Neto’s Knee

It started when Neto was running to catch a bus to go home after work. His phone was in his pocket and fell out as he was climbing the steps. The bus took off while Neto was still climbing aboard. Just like that, the bus ran over Neto’s cell phone. What happened since then is a typical Mexican nightmare.

I learned that Neto no longer had a cell phone because he called me from a phone booth two days later. I knew something must be wrong when I didn’t hear from him. Usually he calls me twice a day.

“I’m sorry I haven’t called but the bus ran over my cell phone. Don’t worry. I get paid today. I’ll buy a new phone tomorrow.”

Weeks went by. Neto called me every couple of days from the same pay phone. He could only afford to talk for one minute.

Finally I said, “Do you need me to send you money to buy a new phone?”

“Yes, if you could, please. I ran out of propane and I had to spend my whole paycheck on gas and electricity.”

Here is where the story takes a bad turn for the worse. Some of you will shake your head and believe that Neto is just plagued with bad luck. But this is not a story about luck. It’s a story about life in Mexico, away from the sun and fun of tourists and the resorts.

Neto called to say thank you for sending him money to buy a new phone. Then I didn’t hear from him for five more days. I prayed that he was in jail. It was better than the alternatives.

Sure enough, five days later Neto called me. He was still calling from the same pay phone to tell me he had been in jail. When he went to the phone store to buy a new phone, he was approached by two Mexican policemen. They demanded to know where he had gotten the money to buy a new phone.

“My friend sent it to me from the U.S,” he told them.

“Prove it,” they said. “Or we’re taking you to jail.”

Neto knew they were asking for a bribe. But he didn’t have any money to pay them. He had just spent all the money he had to buy a new phone. So the policemen took him to jail. He left the phone in the store to be set up with a SIM card while he was away.

Without a phone, there was no way Neto could call anyone to ask for help. When he finally saw a judge and was released, Neto again called me from a pay phone. His knee, which was giving him trouble before he went to jail, was now so sore, he couldn’t walk.

Neto hobbled around on the bad knee for a week, not able to go to his job as a night watchman. When he went to a clinic, the doctor told Neto that he needed to have surgery immediately, or he would never walk again. He would never swim or surf. 

“They said I have a ruptured ligament in my knee,” Neto told me. 

Do I know that’s what was really wrong with Neto’s knee? I don’t know anything at all, except that I don’t trust Mexican doctors. Some people swear by the Mexican medical system. I don’t. Unless they have been trained in the U.S. I have no confidence that Mexican doctors know what that are doing. They just make stuff up and convince themselves it’s true.

Neto had surgery that same night. He still had no phone. There was no way for me to get in touch with him. I was frantic, bordering on hysteria.  By now I was praying that the doctors hadn’t cut off his leg. 

Neto was in the clinic for five days. Every couple of days someone would push him in a wheelchair out to the street, where he would call me from another pay phone. Sometimes the calls went through. Often the phone would disconnect as soon as I answered. He kept reassuring me that someone was going to go to the phone store and pick up his phone “tomorrow.”

This past Monday, i was getting worked up again. I hadn’t heard from Neto for days. I didn’t know if he was home or still in the surgery center. I found Neto’s friend, Publio, on Facebook and sent him a private message. I explained that I needed him to find Neto. Publio agreed to go right away.

This week I finally heard from Neto. He is at home and has a cell phone that he’s borrowing from someone. He still hopes to have his own phone “tomorrow.” Because it isn’t an iPhone, I can text Neto but I can’t call him. I’m happy that he is able to call me. 

Here is what Neto is telling me now:

  • The doctor used a laser to fix his knee. Neto is in a lot of pain but the doctors tell him everything is going to be fine.
  • He’s still using a wheelchair and won’t be able to walk “for a couple more weeks.” 
  • He went back to the clinic Wednesday for a check-up. They gave him a shot of something in his ass. He went back yesterday for another shot and will have the final shot on Monday. He doesn’t know if the shot is for osteoporosis or for a yeast infection. Does Neto really need a shot of something every three days? Probably not. But Mexican doctors love to give shots and patients love to get them. They make everyone feel better
  • I pray that Neto will eventually get his job back. I pray that he will surf again.

The moral of this story is this: Being a poor man in a poor country is a curse. That is true, wherever you are. It’s true in Mexico. Let’s not fool ourselves. It’s, likewise, true in the United States.

Arroz Con Pollo

This is an easy Chicken with Rice dish. It’s fancy enough to serve for company and yummy enough to be considered comfort food. This recipe serves 4. It can be doubled to serve more.

Heat in large frying pan over medium heat: 2 Tablespoons olive oil

Add. Sir-fry until golden-brown on the outside:

1 pound skinless chicken thighs, preferably bone-in

Remove chicken from the skillet and add:

3 cloves garlic, finely chopped

1/2 medium-sized onion, diced

Saute for a few minutes then add:

cooked chicken

1 teaspoon cumin

1/2 teaspoon oregano

1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper

1 teaspoon fresh chopped cilantro

juice of one small lime

Stir until everything is mixed thoroughly, then add:

2 large, firm tomatoes, skin removed and chopped*

1/4 cup white wine

Keep stirring and add:

1 cup chicken broth

1 cup medium or short-grain rice (not instant)

Cover and bring everything to a boil. Quickly reduce the heat to very low and let it all cook, covered, until the rice is done (20-30 minutes).

*Note: you can also use 1/2 can (4 ounces) diced tomatoes, instead.

Serve with warm tortillas and salad. Buen Provecho.

Baked Mangoes With Cinnamon-Sugar Tortillas

Mangoes are one of my favorite summer fruits. My Mexican courtyard was full of them. I was always searching for more ways to use them, including giving them away to my neighbors.

This recipe makes about four servings.

THE MANGOES

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
  • Slice 4-6 ripe, peeled mangoes, ( about 4 lb. total) into 4 pieces (front, back and 2 sides)
  • Cut each mango piece into 1/2 inch thick slices.
  • Pour 2 tablespoons melted butter into a 9×13 inch glass baking pan.
  • Add mango slices. Sprinkle with: 1/3 cup packed dark brown sugar.
  • Toss to coat.
  • Arrange mango slices in one layer. Bake at 400 degrees for 45-50 minutes.
  • While mangoes are baking, prepare tortillas.

THE TORTILLAS

  • Stack and cut in half, 4 flour tortillas (6 inch).
  • Toss in a large bowl until well coated with 3 tablespoons melted butter.
  • Combine in a small bowl: 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon, pinch of salt and three tablespoons sugar.
  • Place tortillas in a single layer on a very large cookie sheet (or 2 small ones).
  • Sprinkle both sides with the cinnamon-sugar mixture.
  • Place in the oven while mangoes are still baking and bake until golden and crisp, 10-15 minutes. Let cool.

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER

Divide mangoes (still warm) among plates. Top with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Serve with cinnamon-sugar tortilla halves, broken again in half.

Mi Amiga, Eunice

When I lived in Mazatlån, January 2nd was the best day of the year. We called it, “Saskatoon Day.” It was the day our best friends, Eunice and Gordon Laidlaw, arrived from Canada, to spend the next three months with us. They were our first long-term guests and they came back every year from 2006 – 2010. Every day we spent with them was a joy.

In 2006, I was volunteering in the local English-language library when a man came in the library to ask if I knew of any available rooms for rent. Ernesto and I had talked, just that morning, about renting rooms in our house to make some extra money. Ernesto and his crew had finished all the repairs and every room was freshly painted and decorated.

“Well, yes,” I told Gordon Blair. “My house is just around the corner. I have three rooms to rent. You can see them this afternoon, if you’d like.”

“Sounds good. Can I meet you here when your shift is over and we will walk to your house together?”

On the way to my house, Gordon Blair explained that he and his wife, Verna, had just driven from Canada to Mexico with their good friends, the Laidlaws.

“Our place is ok, “ said Godon Blair, “but our friend’s place is dirty and too far away. This is our first visit to Mexico. I hope we haven’t made a mistake.”

“I think you will like it here,” I assured him. 

The door to my home was old and deceiving. It didn’t look promising. But as soon as we opened the door, Gordon’s face lit up. The fountain was bubbling water. The courtyard, with three huge mango trees, was spotless. I showed him all three bedrooms, with cheerful bedding and private bathrooms. The community kitchen was huge. 

“I’m sure our friends will love being here,” Gordon told me. Eunice and Gordon Laidlaw moved in that same night. 

I learned that Gordon Blair had been a funeral director and drove a big, comfortable, black SUV. Gordon Laidlaw used to manage a bank. Eunice and Gordon had been sweethearts since eighth grade.

Verna Blair and and Eunice Laidlaw were homemakers and best friends. They quickly became my best friends, too. 

Verna and Eunice loved to cook and sew. They had children and grandchildren they adored. They went shopping almost every day. Occasionally  the two couples would take side trips in the big black SUV to small villages outside the city. Once in a while I would ride along.

Every day while the ladies were shopping, Gordon sat in the courtyard with Neto, drinking endless cups of coffee and smoking cigarettes.  Gordon loved to listen to Neto’s stories and teased him relentlessly.

“Neto, you and I both act like we’re retired. The difference is, you’ve never worked.”

That winter was sublime. The weather was perfect. Soon our home filled with other guests, who were easy and charming Every day was filled with music and laughter. Eunice fell completely in love in Mexico and Gordon was willing to do anything to make her happy.

The following year tragedy struck Verna Blair, however, when she suffered a severe stroke, from which she never fully recovered. Although the Blairs were not able to return to Mexico, nothing was going to stop Eunice. She promised that she and Gordon would fly back next year, on January 2nd.

Eunice was Mazatlan’s greatest champion. She made friends throughout the city. She especially loved the children she saw on the street and the sunsets she watched every night from the beach near our home.

In 2008, my mother-in-law died and I needed to come back to Colorado, so I put Eunice in charge. She was more strict with Neto than I ever was. She wouldn’t let him have a third cup of coffee until he swept the entire courtyard. She scolded my guests if they didn’t leave the kitchen clean. I came back to a home that was spotless and tidy, but with a diagnosis of breast cancer that was going to require surgery.

The following year was my last year in Mazatlán. I was weak from an undiagnosed staph infection following surgery. Eunice and Gordon, along with Neto, helped me keep my house in order as I gradually became strong enough to climb to the top of the lighthouse again.

I sold my home in 2010 and returned to Colorado. Eunice and Gordon found other accommodations and continued to come to Mazatlan every year. Ernesto and I visited other cities during the winter ~ Los Cabos, Bucerias, Puerto Vallarta, and Curnevaca ~ but I could never convince Eunice to leave her beloved Mazatlan. We stayed connected by lengthy emails and occasional phone calls.

In 2012, I had a sobering message. Eunice was diagnosed with stomach cancer but she  was determine to “kick Cancer’s butt!” and come back to Mazatlan again. Cancer was tough, but Eunice was tougher. She fought like a tiger until her stomach cancer was gone in time for another winter away from Saskatoon. When she returned to Canada the following spring, she was diagnosed with bladder cancer. Again, she went through months of cancer treatment, with the goal always to return to Mexico on January 2nd. Bladder cancer was gone, only to be replaced with breast cancer. And then cancer of her spine. Every year she convinced her doctors she was strong enough to return to Mexico.

I met up with Eunice again, in 2020, right before the pandemic. I decided to come back to Mazatlan, mainly to see my dear friend. She looked good. She was as upbeat and entertaining as ever. 

Neither of us traveled in 2021 ~ due to the pandemic. This year, 2022, Eunice and Gordon were back in Mazatlan, with her cancer once again in remission. They rented an apartment on the beach, so they could watch sunset every night from their balcony. Her doctor, however, felt that her immune system was so compromised by cancer treatment, he recommended that they return to Canada by mid-February. Eunice wrote that she was tired and ready to go home. She wore a mask wherever she went and went outside only to buy groceries. Gordon was always right next to her.

Two weeks ago, I received a very sad message. Eunice wrote to say that cancer had invaded her entire body and she was now “out of options.” She was going into hospice care to die. 

My sweet, funny, dear friend, Eunice Laidlaw died last Friday with Gordon and her children by her side. 

Adios, mi amiga. You will live in my heart forever. Vaya con Dios! Go with God.

Mexican Vegetable Dip

This is a recipe from my sister-in-law, Sandy. It’s been around my family for a long time – maybe 20 years or more.

Part salsa, part veggie dip ~ I made it often when I lived in Mexico. It is still one of my favorite appetizers. I could eat it with a spoon. 

Mix together and chill overnight:

  • 1/2 cup chopped black olives
  • 1 small can chopped green chilies
  • 4 green onions
  • 2 large tomatoes, chopped
  • 1-1/2 tablespoons vinegar
  • 3 tablespoons oil
  • 1 tsp. garlic salt

Serve with tortilla chips.

God Bless The Cowgirls

Hearing aids are a staple in my family. Nearly all of us need them.  How do you know when it’s time? Here is a story my brother, Bob, told me.  He swears it’s true.

Bob was a dentist in downtown St. Paul for forty years. Forty years of hearing his dental drill constantly buzzing in his ear. At least fifteen years of asking his wife, Sandy, to repeat herself because he couldn’t quite catch what she was saying. His girls began to raise their voices to a low shout, in order to have a conversation with him.

A few years ago, Bob and Sandy were invited to the wedding of a close friend. The bride, a native of Alaska, wanted a “cowboy wedding.” The cake was topped with a cowboy bride and groom. Flowers were placed in mason jars on the tables. The music was loud and there was laughter, clinking glasses, and plenty of dancing.

Some of the guests dressed for the occasion in cowboy clothes but Bob and Sandy were dressed as they normally would for a wedding. They don’t own any cowboy clothes.

Suddenly Sandy spotted a friend, the mother of the bride.

Sandy turned to Bob and said, “Here comes Diane. She had her boobs done.”

“Really?” my brother answered. “That’s news to me. Why did she have her boobs done?  I thought they looked fine the way they were.”

“Bob! I didn’t say she had her boobs done.” Sandy shouted above the noise. “I said, Here comes Diann with her boots on!”

Bob made an appointment with an audiologist the following Monday.

A Cautionary Tale

This week I dodged a bullet. Barely. Let me explain. I don’t want the same thing to happen to you.

Step One: I received an email that looked legitimate. It said my Amazon account was charged $536.00 for Bitcoins. It further said that if I didn’t authorize that charge, I should immediately call the number on my screen.

What did I do? I called the number on my screen.

What I should have done? Look up my orders on Amazon, to see if a Bitcoin order had been placed. Obviously I don’t know enough about Bitcoins to know you don’t buy them on Amazon.

Step Two:  A very nice person named Austin said that she was glad I called right away so she could stop the order. She said she was looking up my order and verified that someone on the “dark web” had placed the order and hacked into my Amazon account. She said that the hackers were established in California, Kansas, Mexico and Russia.

What did I do? I said “Thank you for helping me.”

What should I have done? Taken a deep breath. Been suspicious. Now Austin had my telephone number and I was headed down a rabbit hole.

Step Three: Austin said that in order to block my Amazon account, I needed to go to my local grocery store and wait for instructions.

What did I do? I said I didn’t want to go to the store because it was late and I was getting hungry. Austin continue to reassure me that this was important and she was there to help me. She told me not to hang up. She gave me her direct phone number in case we got disconnected.

What I should have done? Refused to go. Taken another deep breath. Had a glass of wine. Start to fix dinner. Anything ~ except get in my car and drive to the grocery store.

Step Four: I was at the grocery store and Austin was still connected to my phone. I had a text from Amazon, saying that $500.00 had been deposited into my credit card account. Austin told me to get an Amazon gift card for $500.00 and pay for it with my credit card. “You won’t be using your own money, because I just put $500.00 credit on your card,” she reassured me.

What did I do? Although this seemed strange, I did what I was told. There were no Amazon cards available, so Austin told me to get a Target card, “because Amazon and Target have an agreement to help each other with these fraud claims.” 

What should I have done? Checked my credit card balance to see if $500.00 had been deposited. It hadn’t.

Step Five: When I went to pay for the Target gift card with my credit card, the charge was declined. I left the store. Austin was still on hold. I told her what happened. She said I needed to call my credit card company to authorize the charge. I couldn’t input my credit card number on my keypad, so Austin volunteered to place the call for me. She listened in as I stated my credit card number. When the customer service person asked for my full social security number, I gave it to her! 

What did I do? Exactly what I was told. Chase credit card said they would authorize the charge. I returned to the store to buy the gift card. 

What should I have done? Asked more questions. Hang up. By this time I was very annoyed. I was starting to not like Austin at all. It was now almost two hours since the scam started. 

Step Six: Austin told me to read her the card number and the access code. 

What did I do? I read her the card number and access code.

What I should have done? Taken my gift card and gone home. By this time, I was arguing with Austin. She remained calm. I was a screaming banshee.

Step Seven: Austin thanked me for being so helpful. She again assured me that she would clear my Amazon account with this Target card. Then, she told me I needed to go back into the store to buy TWO MORE Target gift cards. She sent me another text stating that my credit card had now been credited for an additional $1000.00.

What did I do? I argued profusely. I said this didn’t seem right, but again I did what I was told. When I tried to buy two more gift cards, my credit card declined the charge. 

What I should have done: Gone home!

Step Eight: I came back to the car to talk to Austin, who was still on the phone. She said we needed to call my credit card company again. This time the wait time was going to be “more than 30 minutes.”

What did I do? I was now fully crazed. I was yelling at Austin. I told her I didn’t believe her any more. I hung up the phone and started my car. Austin called me back and told me we needed to finish this. I told her I was finished.

Finally, when I was home, nearly three hours after getting the first email, I did what I should have done in the first place:

  • Been very suspicious. Know that scammers are everywhere!
  • Googled the phone number that appeared in my email. The number was registered in China.
  • Looked at my Amazon account. There was no charge for Bitcoins. I called Amazon to report my experience to the fraud detection team.
  • Called my credit card company to alert them about the hoax. They immediately canceled my card. Today, they removed the $500.00 charge I placed for the first gift card.
  • Checked the Target card to see if there was any balance on there. Of course, there wasn’t. Austin had already taken the money from the gift card. It was a classic scam, and I fell for it. 

I am chagrined to tell you what happened to me. I feel stupid. I know this has happened to a lot of people but I thought it couldn’t happen to me. I know I was lucky not to lose any money, but I could have. I still might.

Baked Chili Rellanos

Oh, my!  This is so delicious, I serve it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Almost no one in Mazatlán makes fried Chili Rellanos. These are a great substitute. 

Recipe

Step 1:  Beat together and pour into 9×13 baking dish:

5 large eggs

1/4 cup flour

1-1/4 cups milk

1/2 teaspoon salt

pepper 

paprika

Step 2:  Stuff 2 small cans whole chilies, seeded with: 1 pound Monterey Jack cheese

Place chilies in milk mixture

Step 3: Sprinkle with 2 cups grated Monterey Jack cheese  (add more if you’d like.)

Step 4: Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for 45 minutes.

Serve with fresh salsa and fruit. Buen Provecho!